Spring Break Road Trip!

Since the Sgt. had to go out of town during Spring break, we had to cancel our original plans to go camping. THe kid and I hung out at home most of the week. Did a few fun things, but the Sgt. and I had decided to take them to the OK aquarium on Fri to make up for the missed trip. We loaded up Fri morning, hooked up the DVD player, packed a basket of toys for lil'man and took off for a 2 hour car ride to Jenks, OK - right outside Tulsa. Thankfully lil'man fell asleep on the way and the other 2 enjoyed their movie. We got to tulsa in time to grab a bite and then headed on over to the aquarium. THe kids had a good time, we ran into my dear friend from Moms in Touch, and in general it was a fun experience. However, it cost us 50 bucks just to get in and while I appreciate the expense that goes into running that facility, the Sgt. and I were just not that impressed. Oh well. Now we know. Lil' man got to ride around in the backpack carrier for a while and then we let him walk a bit. He said "ish" and pointed at the displays - very cute. J and EK really enjoyed the shark tank - it's built such that you actually walk in a tunnel so the sharks can swim overhead. That was cool. After our visit I did get to run into Macy's and the Gap(they have a maternity section in that one) but couldn't manage to find a thing. It rained all day and got colder over the course of the afternoon, all leading up to snow today.

World's Worst Mom

This time on the merry-go-round of pregnancy I have been way more tired than during any of the others. This is probably because lil'man is not a great sleeper, wakes at 5:30ish every morning regardless of bedtime, and while I hate to admit it, I was not in fighting shape when I got pregnant. I was not exercising regularly and eating whenever/whatever I wanted - neither thing really helps with stamina:) So, here I am, HUGELY pregnant at not even 4months and another 5 looming ahead. Cheery outlook right? I am trying to walk and I am definitely eating better. Of course the walking thing is out the window today as I freeze my buttinski off in the SNOW!!! What on earth? Anyway, I digress...so I am tired. Often. And I find it sometimes very difficult to stay awake in the afternoon. I try to plan a power nap while lil'man is sleeping, but his "schedule" is so unpredictable it's hit or miss. Thurs. afternoon was one such day. Lil'man had already been down and up from his nap and I was wiped. So I did what any good momma would do. I bribed my 7 and 4 year olds to watch their 18mo. old baby brother. Makes complete sense to me! For a Sonic Jr. Candy Sundae they were in. Chewbaka and I snoozed for about 20 minutes on the lower bunk (with the door open of course!) and when I got up all was well. So what if there were a few hundred Uno and playing cards littering the house. No one had broken any limbs, swallowed anything toxic, set themselves or a sibling on fire. All good baby! And yes, I fully expect DHS to show up at my house any day. Seriously. I was tired.
Here's the kicker though. The Sgt calls at 7:50 and says he'll be home in 10 min. Originally thought he wouldn't get back til at least 10 so we were all very excited. Double edged sword - all of the kids were still awake. Not normal - EK and lil'man are usually out by then, but it had just been one of those nights. Yeah daddy's home. He goes and says goodnight to EK and then comes back out to the kitchen and asks why there's a dead bird on the kitchen counter? What???? Jack says oh no, that's just a decoration mommy found in the Easter decorations box. True. Earlier in the day I had gone up and gotten the spring box down and as I was pulling out the baskets I say this little bird on the bottom. I asked the kids if they remembered that being on one of their baskets from last year. NO they said. Oh well. Must have come off something I said. J and EK played with that thing all day. Moved it around the house. Put it in various places. Then my dear husband informs me it's really a DEAD BIRD!!!!!! Oh my gracious. Are you kidding me??? He asks how could I not tell? Um. I am not a dead bird expert? I would never imagine something so tiny and in such seeming good condition could be anything other than a perfectly crafted replica of a hummingbird. GROSS! He then points at it and says, "Melanie ( and in a rather exasperated tone by the way) it has no eyes." AHHHHH!!!! And I let my kids PLAY WITH A DEAD BIRD i say again! Seriously. This is my life. You can't make this crap up.

Randomness

I downloaded a bunch of pics this morning and laughed at such silly kids! I love them dearly, thank goodness, and that's what keeps me from kickin' them to the curb. So the Sgt. taught Will to "cut his eyes" which translates to him squinting, but it sure is cute. tHe cousins came up for a visit last Sunday and of course the girls had to put on the princess dresses, so that explains the preciousness of the 3 girly-girls dressed up. Also, within the past four days I have caught my two oldest in the sweetest poses. Completely unrehearsed, unplanned, just them being the best kind of siblings -those who love each other and are kind to each other. THe photo outside was actually a mistake. Moments before they were sitting side by side, occasionaly pointing to something unseen by the Sgt and me. I ran in to get the camera, but missed the shot. Fortunately they had assumed this pose and it too was worth snapping -thankfully I got it! Then this morning, after playing outside for a bit, they announced that they wanted a snack. J grabbed some leftover fried chicken from the fridge (I know, they're wierd) and the two settled down to gnaw the meat off the bone. I was checking email and turned around in my chair to check on them only to see that they had taken my jacket, each one putting an arm in a sleeve and say there eating away! Too cute. Hope they continue to be pleasant for the rest of the day!

One of my friends from grad school came over today with her two precious kiddos. Her daughter is year younger than EK and her son is one month younger than lil'man.. Lots of fun today! It is always good to spend time with other women who share your core beliefs and it can lead to some interesting discussions too. I read somewhere recently that when God is trying to tell her something He presents it in threes - a sermon, a bible passage, and a conversation with a friend, for example. I am finding a similar experience holds true in my life, but sadly I think He may need more than 3 times to get my thick-headed attention! Anyhoo, one of these happened while dealing with His conviction about spending time in the Word, as I posted about earlier. Most recently, it's been about submission. Yes, I said it, submission...to my husband...I know...it's a dirty word these days. Nevertheless, I believe the Word of God to be God breathed thereby pretty darn clear about how I should live. Before I go any further, if there happens to be any one who reads this who doesn't actually know me or know my past, I will only say at this point that that in itself deserves its own post and to be as quick as possible, God totally saved me from myself. OK, so coming to "terms" with God and His word was/is a journey of struggle in which I say to God, Ok I get it, I love you and believe you. Then, I doubt. Him, who He says He is, what He says He did/does the whole shebang. It is a rotten path to walk and I desperately don't want to live it anymore (don't worry, I'm not talking about checking out here, just being tired of the fight). In His kindness, He has revealed to me that this is all me. THe fight is all one sided. He's NOT pushing me away, He's not changing such that it should arise my suspicion. He's constant. And if I am truly concerned/desiring to not feel this way, then perhaps I should quit my complaining and commit to GET TO KNOW HIM!!! Jeez Louise! What a no-brainer...and yet, here I am 35 and just now getting around to commiting to reading His word, in its entirety. So back to submission -thanks for coming with me on that tanget... I do know this much. My marriage works better and I am more content when I stop worrying about every possible emotion that might be behind each word my husband does or does not say and just be his wife. Serve him how the Lord wants me to -and NO this does not being a doormat. It truly breeds respect and honor for my husband and in turn the Sgt is off the hook. He doesn't have to worry about making me happy - he can't, at least not in the way that God can. And in that the Sgt. is free to be himself and that is a man who loves me and wants to make me happy. True it's not a perfect equation all the time. There are days when my servitude goes unnoticed - my instinct is to go, poor me, no one is noticing all that I've done today! But, if I can step outside of myself and go to God with those feelings, I always walk away knowing that it's ok. My selfishness is forgiven and my real joy is in the service, as I am glorifying Him in the act, not the outcome. WARNING - I fail...a lot. There are days when I think this stinks, all I want is a pat on the back, a jeez your day must have been hard I can see the kids really tore up the house, etc. But at the end of the day, I ask myself, is it easier to love the person who complains about all that doesn't get done for her? Or for the gal who says yes it's been tough, but I'm so happy to see you and that you're here for dinner? I'm just sayin'! I'll post more on this later since I know I've not bee super clear here and I've got to go right now. The Sgt is out of town and I have to get dinner on the table to me and kids, then pick up the house, get everyone bathed, ready for bed...not that I'm complaining:)

Pride

My oldest, J, is a smart, funny, imaginative boy. But, he doesn't like to "work" hard at school. Or so he says. Secretly I'm sad, because I tend to be lazy myself and I see that in him. If there's too much effort involved, he would just as soon sit it out. However, if it's important to him, or he gets tons of words of affirmation, he pulls it up from his toes and gets it done. As we headed into Christmas break we got word that he was on the borderline with his reading. Then after a couple of weeks back from break, his teacher sent a note home that he was being recommended for Reading Recovery, a terrific early intervention program in place to help kids just like J so that they don't fall too far behind the rest of the pack. He has no idea that it's anything different or special, only that he gets one-on-one attention and extra help with his reading - and extra attention is right up his alley! This is the same child who was SAD to leave the hospital:) So, in his Fri. folder from his RR teacher (a wonderful woman who has the patience of Job) we got a note saying that as long as we were willing to keep up the reading on our end, she didn't see any reason that J shouldn't stop RR and only do reading in the class. Wow!! He has come so far in such a short period of time and has worked so hard the past few weeks. In addition to his regular homework (a reading assignment/night, word study, and math) he typically has read 2-3 other books, done sentence reconstruction, and another word study. So much work for a first grader, but he did it faithfully and boy has it paid off! We are so proud of you buddy - and we know you will keep up the great work. Overall, he is a good student and as we continue to learn how he learns, I think we can find different ways to help him in the classroom. Staying on green is a big deal and self-control is really the name of the game - not talking to his friend in line, not getting up from center etc. What's neat to see is how God is growing him already. As we were getting ready to head out the door one morning he was concerned about how he was going to have self-control and stay on green that day. I reminded him that some times we feel like we can't do things in our own power, but if we ask the Holy Spirit to help, we find that we can do things beyond ourselves. J looked at me and said, "What is this? I do NOT remember you telling me about this. This is great, it's super-power." Yes, J, it is just that - our very own, God-given super-power!
Down-shift: I got to meet one of my dearest friends this morning. She is living in Dallas now, so I do not get to see her near enough. I love this girl - she is funny, sensitive, smart as a whip, and she loves God. I miss her tons, but love when we get to spend time together - it's never dull! Love you L, can't wait til I see you again!

Poppy's visit

Poppy came for a visit last weekend!! Hurray!! We had a great time, in spite of some stinkin' cold weather. It had been perfect the day before he arrived, but alas, his flight in coincided with SNOW. What in the world? Oh well. We made due with movies, playing around the house, a trip to the RC track (boys only) and then a surprise set of tickets for the UA baseball game Sunday. A treat for Poppy and J! J go to witness his first coach vs. umpire (or empire as he calls them) spat. To watch J reenact the fight is too much - he bobs his head back and forth like a chicken pecking. Poppy had to explain what had happened when the coach got thrown out of the game! He told him that the coach had to go to the locker room to settle down - good job Poppy!
Apparently there were also a couple of teenage boys sitting directly behind J and Poppy and J was enthralled by their conversations - doing donuts, getting into fights, you know, just exactly the kind of stuff you want your 7 year old to learn from strangers!! At least they never covered sex:) Who knows what damage we'd be undoing...for the rest of his life.
Poppy's visits are still bittersweet. It's painfully obvious who's missing and while it's getting easier to talk about mom and the things that we miss about her, it's still just plain hard. I had a dream about her while dad was here - I got up from a nap and she was just sitting on the couch, talking with the kids, like it was the most natural thing in the world. After a bit, I go over to my dad and say, "I mean I'm glad she's here, it's just a bit unnerving," to which he replies, "I know, just let her be and she'll leave when she's ready." Um, Ok. And here's the thing - that conversation would happen just like that if that scene played out in real life. I rarely dream about my mom, so it was great to have that, especially while dad was here, but still...wonder what a therapist would say? Probably, you miss your mom and you wish she were still a part of your life? Gee, maybe I should open office hours as a counselor. THe hardest is knowing how much my dad misses her. There's nothing I can do to fill that void, nor should I, but you know, just wishing this was not our reality.
Ok, so the pics are of J and his gift from Poppy, EK in hers (plus a tshirt she refused to take off for the photo) and lil' man and part of his truck set that Poppy got him. it's taken a couple of days to get back into routine too - Poppy's visit meant staying up late and playing hard all day. WE loved every minute of it, and miss him so much already. Can't wait til the summer when we can head on down to the beach:) The top right is J at his Upwards basketball awards ceremony. It was a great night with a fun illusionist who presented the Gospel after his show. Very cool. J had a great season - his first, so alot of learning! Upwards is great, and this time each player got a backpack. This is J coming off the stage after getting his. Love you buddy - we're so proud of you!

Great News!!!

Just got some terrific news today -our friend for whom we had been praying got word that the latest scan shows 75% clear of the cancer!! Praise God! We will continue to pray for the rest to get gone too:) But thinking back to our walk with mom through this stuff, it is incredibly encouraging to hear that there is positive progress at this time.

My sweet boy J, got back into the swing of things on Monday. Much to his chagrin, he started back to school. So far so good this week. He's stayed on green AND his reading teacher bumped him up a level because he has done so well recently! WOW ! Way to go J - we are so proud of all of your hard work. I knew that the spark had finally come for him since he has been reading signs, magazines, newspapers etc. in a way that he really hadn't before. What a huge praise for us - not only has God healed his eye/face, but also brought him so far in his reading in such short time.
Poppy is coming tomorrow -hurray! THe kids are super excited of course and me too:) Unfortunately our 70 degree weather has gone bye bye and in it's place we have 50's! BOO! HISS! Oh well - we'll find stuff to do. The Sgt has already planned a trip to the RC track for thurs night. J's last upwards basketball game is Sat. The season has flown by - still room for improvement, but I thinks he's had fun.
On a personal note, I have been feeling pretty convicted about the lack of time I spend in His word each day. Not only from my own heart and the Holy Spirit, but from various other avenues, God pointing this out to me as well. Love when He does this! So, a friend and I are now accountability partners as we read our Daily Walk bibles together. So far so good! I also realized just how often I would "read" my bible, but was actually just skimming it in order to say that I had read it. No meat there! This time around I am seeing things I never saw before and am understanding God in a way that I have been desperate for but kept missing because I couldn't be still long enough and invest deeply enough. How sad, so much missed time. But I'm not dwelling on that, just moving ahead and looking forward to getting to know my God in a more intimate way. I truly believe that the struggles that I 've had with doubt and faith etc. will diminish as I draw closer to Him and know who He is, His character, because at the end of the day I do choose to believe that He is good and loves me!

Home again, Home again

We are trying to get back to normal around here. It's hard though since normal would mean that J would be at school, not here pestering his sister! We are grateful that his eye/face is healing very well. There is very little evidence left that there was ever an infection. One of the antibiotics is not going down well, but we're managing. We are going to try for the basketball game tomorrow - I'm not so sure about it, but the Sgt. thinks it will be fine. It is beautiful here today - in the 70's-so we spent some of the day cleaning up branches/limbs from the common property and in the back. Really makes a difference and will hopefully eliminate any homes for creatures of the slithering kind -yuk! Another sweet friend is blessing us with a meal tonight - cannot tell you what a difference it makes having these gifts given to us. On the one hand, it seems unecessary, I mean, I am capable of cooking right? But I have found that I am just now feeling back to normal - finally sleeping through the night. Although we are going to bed later since we have to administer an antibiotic at 11PM - poor J, has to be woken up to be given the stinky medicine. Oh well - we will keep on keeping on til he is completely better!

Good news

During morning rounds our Dr. said that he was very pleased with the progress J has made! Yeah!!! If all continues to go well, he will be released tomorrow. Praise God:) I am still in awe of God's goodness to us during this time. Friends who took care of our children, brought us dinner, called/emailed, and most importantly, covered us in prayer. We are blessed to know each of you and call you friend. J is in great spirits today - much more like his usual self. I am sad to say that he has requested that his daddy spend the night with him again -break your mother's heart why don't you - but think it may be in part because daddy raced RC cars in the hospital hallway:) Who can compete with that? Love you son and I can not wait to have you home!

Thank you to H for updating the blog! Thank you to all of our friends and church family for prayers and love - we have truly felt those prayers and J continues to see those sweet faces from church come through his hospital room door! Thanks be to God for continuing to heal our boy. We have seen great progress in the past 24 hours -he can even open his eye! THe pictures posted show just how swollen his face was - sorry, I know it's ugly:) The upper right pic is from this afternoon and the difference is so noticeable. He is such a trooper - so brave and stoic. The Sgt. says most of his "customers" are much bigger babies than our J has been! I stayed with J until today, finally giving into exhaustion and the need to sleep on something other than a plank! EK, lil'man and I headed to the pediatrician's because there was concern that lil' man might have an ear infection, but he's fine, PTL! They are both asleep and I am off too. We'll try to keep all updated in the coming days, but please know how truly grateful we are for all of the offers for assistance that we've already taken you up on and for your continued prayers.

J Update

M called me this evening to update everyone on J. The CAT scan came back normal. PTL! They started eye drops in hopes of clearing up some of the eye discharge and swelling. J ate some food and walked the hallway. They will stay another night with hopes of going home tomorrow.

Prayer

M just called me and agreed to have me post a prayer request:

Yesterday, J's face started to swell and he began to run a high fever - even while on Tylenol. They ended up in the emergency room. They are still at the hospital trying to figure out what is causing the swelling but thankfully his fever has broke. J is on an antibiotic IV.

The actual cut/stitches that J received looks very clean. They believe that there is infection in the eye. A CAT scan is scheduled for today to make sure that there isn't a underlining problem. It will take 3-4 hours to receive the results.

Please be praying for J and wisdom for the doctors.