Yikes! A whole month almost since my last post! What on earth:( So sorry to the 4 people who actually read this. We are still alive - and since those of you who look at this are the same people I talk to on a regualar basis, you already know that. Anyhoo. We are totally under the spell of Christmas, but struggling to shake off the crazy, cross-eyed and drooling trance of too much of everything...too much money spent, too much eating of sweets, too much sitting around watching movies, etc. Big bro' got sick last night - threw up his dinner all over his bed, floor, and then about an hour later, the living room. GROSS - still can hardly stand to clean up my own kiddo's vomit. Sweet Sgt was home alone with them - I ran out to do some last minute shopping (at least this time I was on a mission and actually got what I went out for). He got the room cleaned up and parked J on the couch (the scene of the secone stage of puking). UGH - you know how that goes...if it's not something it's another.
The family is headed in tomorrow - so looking forward to that. Misery loves company right - first xmas without mom and all. Seriously though, I figure who better to be with. They won't wonder what to do with me when I break down crying for seemingly no reason. They know. You don't need a reason. Her not being here is enough of a reason to lose it.
On a lighter note, J gave his life to Christ last year and is finally going to be baptized the Sun after xmas. Praise God! He's been doing a bible study with us leading up to that sun - very interesting to see him process all of this.
Ok- gotta run. Casseroles to finish. And a glass of red wine with my name on it is calling me...

Grateful Heart

So much for posting with any regularity! Anway, the conference was amazing - heard what I soooo needed to hear about who God is, His character and unchangeable ways, and how I am not forgotten in His eyes or heart. Also, and this is huge, I cannot trust my emotions in my walk with God. I will, I repeat, I will have times of doubt because I feel lonely/sad/depressed etc, but those are emotions not truth. The TRUTH is that I am His child and He loves me and He is faithful and true. If I can hold fast to those things even while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's amid a tearful night on the couch thinking about my mom and all that she's missing/I am missing with out her, then I am on the right path. I am unable to comprehend that there is nothing more beyond this world, if for no other reason than I am unwilling to never see my mom again. Beyond that, I cannot live this life without hope of something more - this world is simply too hard and there is a longing in my heart for that something more. So, there you have it! Can I get an "Amen"???
The Sgt did amazingly well while I was gone - house is still standing and wasn't too dirty either! He was so sweet - saying that he enjoyed his time bonding with lil' man. He even managed to coordinate with our friend to watch our kids so that he could help out with a church outreach project. Awesome Man! Another blessing in my life - I hear so much about husbands who are in the pits of pornography, infidelity, loss of faith etc. and while I always pray protection from these things (since we are all vulnerable) I am truly grateful for a man who works so hard and loves us so deeply. While we often joke about his inability to be "romantic" or whatever, he really is unselfish when it comes to his family. Gotta love the Sgt!:)
We're hanging home this year for Thanksgiving - going to the in-laws. I am glad to be keeping it low-key - not sure I can take too much hubbub, and Christmas is going to be crazy with everyone coming here. J is going to be baptized the Sun. after xmas - more on that later - so he will get to have his family with him for that!
Nighty night!

I'm off duty!

I leave this afternoon for my Women of Faith conference. So many little things have happened in the past couple of days, and one big thing, that at times I have felt like this door was closing...I just don't know. My friend who invited me to the conference has had a death in the family and so that has thrown a major wrench in the travel plans. As of five minutes ago, I am planning on driving myself to OKC, so that I can spend some time in Tulsa - solo- doing some shopping. I prayed last night that God would give me a very clear direction about this day...so far, not so much! I know that God does sometimes work this way, or rather, that my mind may be too busy to hear what He is trying to tell me. Hate when that happens, and it seems to be the case more often than not:(
I've got dinners to put up for the Sgt and kids, clothes to pack, the dog has a vet appt. What to do??? Just trust that God will work out my day in His perfect order, relax in this and not worry (too much) and look forward to spending time hearing other women talk about how He has worked in their lives, reading His word, and worshipping Him. Ok, so that doesn't sound too bad:)

MIT monday

Moms in Touch was amazing this morning. We were joined by new mom (not new to motherhood, just new to us) and one of our gals had a birthday, so we got off to a slow start, but boy did our prayers push on the walls! It is so sweet to hear these women pouring their hearts out to God, trusting Him to hear their cries for their children. It is also so comforting to know that none of us (or our children) are perfect. One of the ladies in my church said women so often live our lives just keeping it between the ditches of comparison and judgement! How true! We look at others and think,"Oh, look, their kids are so cutely dressed, their home so nicely decorated..." but really they got crud just like us:) So, it is a pleasure to share my crud with my MIT women!
Halloween was a success - even though lil' man was only happy in the main SpiderMan suit, no accessories. I do have one pic of him with the mask and hat, and as you can see he is clearly not pleased to be so goofily dressed! J was a cop (of course since I spent 13 bucks for a Batman costume that he BEGGED me for, only to discover that it was too itchy, as surprisingly was the pirate costume last year) and EK was a cowgirl. She even got to ride a pony on Halloween - at one of the trunk-or-treats. So fun. And this week is her trail ride that she has been begging for since last christmas when she got to ride a pony at the town square's free christmas event. So, finally this Fri. she and I will be mounting up for an hour long ride - wish me luck;)

Bible Study Tuesdays

WooHoo! Yet again I say, Love me some Beth Moore! Seriously, she is gifted at bringing God's word to life so that we are able to glean something different than we might have gotten on our own. She seems humble with her gift of teaching and that makes her all the more appealing to me - yet I know that at the end of the day, it is God's word, not hers. anyhoo, God is just continuing to reveal to me how blessed I am. My hardworkin' Sgt., kiddos trying their best most days:) I am so quick to see the hard work I "have to do" everyday just to keep this house running, that I so often overlook the abundance He has placed in our life. So, for an early Thanksgiving: I am grateful for the Sgt., his godliness, loyalty to our family, work ethic, sense of humor, humility, love for me and the kids, what a good friend he is, his quiet strength (I know I can count on this man), and for being an amazing handyman! My sweet children: J, so creative and sensitive, huge questions about his God and faith, growing into quite a little man himself. What a fantastic big brother too. EK, my precious girl - smart, funny, great expressions, big-helper, loves her brothers and is so inquisitive, tender too to how I'm feeling. Lil' man - wow, what a ride this first year has been, but you're sleeping through the night now and you are funny! I am just so thankful, even through the sadness of losing my mom, that God has seen fit to bless us so completely. Thank you God.
P.S. - I know what horrid grammar was just used in the above post, so don't go sendin' me comments about how I should banned from blogging or whatever. I'm just sayin'...

Monday's are Moms In Touch, the prayer group I meet with to pray for J and all of the kids in his school. I started attending last year and it has been such a blessing in my life! It is made all the sweeter because of the dear women with whom I pray. THey are generous of spirit and love for their own kids as well as the students at our school. What an honor to pray with these godly women! Today I was reminded of just how blessed we, as a family, are. Our marriage is strong, our kids are healthy and "normal" - we can so easily take for granted that our children are not broken of spirit, heart, or mind. Even though 'lil man sometimes makes praying quite challenging, I wouldn't trade that time for anything. I also felt God pricking my heart in the area of obedience to spending time in His word. Now that lil man is sleeping through the night and not rising before the chickens, I really need to commit to taking that time to be with Him each day. I KNOW how much better I feel when I do this, so it's just a matter of overcoming the flesh:) So easy-right?