Monday, January 10, 2011

H to the Holy, S to the Spirit - or as I like to call it my cheer for the HS

I'm sitting in a quiet house.  Yes, it's my house:)  Ryan is napping and the other three are outside enjoying our dusting of snow.  They truly delight in even the tiniest evidence of that white stuff!  I am enjoying a cozy fire, full belly, and the moments of peace.  As I was washing the lunch dishes, I was thinking about Ann's post, from  She is one of my favorite bloggers, primarily because she exudes a quality that most often eludes me: peace.  She is soft-spoken, but speaks boldly.  She homeschools her 6 (I think it's only 6) with a calm that always seems right beyond my reach.  I realize that I'm setting her up on a pedestal, but I'm ok with that (although as you get to know her through her writing, you would soon realize that it would make her most uncomfortable!)  So, she often posts about scripture memorization, having a quiet spirit, and making prayer intentional throughout the day.  UGH!   I am already running smack into the wall of failure. Which then brought to mind the message from Sunday; in John 14, Christ tells his disciples that he will be leaving soon, but that he is giving them a counselor, or helper.  Ooh.  Ooh.  I want one of those!  Our choice for Christ allows us access to this advocate and friend.  Praise be to God:)  Furthermore, my decision for salvation, I am allowed to go to heaven.  In my decision for submission, heaven comes to me: "if anyone loves him, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home in him." John 14:23.  How wonderful is that?  So here's my teeny tiny hurdle:  myself.  Stinks right?  I mean I can't get away from myself...well legally nor without heavy narcotics.  But I digress - shocker.  So as I'm standing at the sink, I'm thinking about every single stinkin' day when I arise with the very best, most heartfelt intentions of being calm, patient, quiet, slow-to-anger, quick-to-praise, joyful, grateful, etc.  All of the things which should be outflow of my unabated love for Him and what he's done for me.  Honestly, there are some days where I think I do pretty well.  I fall into bed and smile smugly thinking "hey, today wasn't so bad.  I didn't yell (alot) and I made sure to tell each kiddo how they rocked something or other."  And then it hit me.  As I'm scrubbing the cast iron skillet, really having to use some elbow grease, I've missed it again.  I've made myself the star of the day.  Not my heavenly Father who dwells within.  Not the Holy Spirit who is my heaven-sent helper in the obedience department.  Not Christ Jesus himself, whose wounds still gape from my sin. In this New Year I've made no resolutions, only cried out to Him that he would show me abundant grace as I lean heavily on the Holy Spirit and really scrub off those nasty stains of pride, anger, ungratefulness, unbelief, et al:)  Three cheers for my counselor and friend the Holy Spirit!