Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Lean Into Me

The Lord did once speak to me in an audible voice.  It was clear as day, and startled me right out of my prayer!  What an experience!  But, it's never really happened again.  Usually, it seems that God or the Holy Spirit speaks to me through my never ending inner monologue.  It feels like a thought, but I know that it's not of or from me.  Make sense?  Sometimes it's like there's another person inside my head and that's the voice that I hear - not a real voice (don't worry here, I'm not hearing voices!), but definitely something other than my own thought.  Anyway, I remember Karen Kingsbury or Francine Rivers describing it as a whisper on a breeze.  That's kind of it - it just sort of passes across my thoughts.  God gave me this a couple of days ago.  We returned from our vacation (which was great and deserves it own post) I was immediately overwhelmed with the amount of work to be done before we begin homeschool in earnest next week.  My heart raced.  I felt a panic attack of sorts coming on. The day before we came home I had been reading in Job, not really lifting my spirits I can tell you!  But, amid all of that, as I went to bed Sat night, I heard Him.  "Lean Into Me."  That's it.  But wow!  I have turned that over and over in my head and heart.  Savoring its sweetness.  Letting it wash over me in the midst of a baby suffering from extreme separation anxiety and teething, a soon-to-be 3 year old who cannot understand why every toy in the house is not his, a soon-to-be 6 year old who just really wants a horse and a bunny and a baby sister,  not to mention the 8 year old who is just really emotional right now, and an already over-worked husband who just took on another part time job (sweet him!).  So, here we all are, leaning into Him.  And miracle of all miracles, He's holding us up.