Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Well, we do not have the swine flu - praise God and haller-luya! EK merely ran fever for a few hours, still is not 100%, lingering cough and some tender glands, but no flu. We'll keep praying that it stays away from our family, but odds are...
Jack wrote an apology note to the little boy he clocked. It is very sweet and he even attached an extra envelope with some loose change. That's my boy. If the letter doesn't work, try to buy his forgiveness! Oh dear. There's a "discussion" in the works about that one.
On another note, as a mom/wife/friend/fill-in-the-blank-role, there are some days where I am like, "yeah, I totally got this thing nailed down. Dinner is planned and prepped by 10am, clothes are washed, dried, & put up, house is clean." Then there those other days when I think, "Children services are coming. Today. To take my children away from this pit of devastation and filth. My husband will surely be leaving me today, because he has seen me in sweats and no makeup for the 3rd day in a row and I don't remember the last time I showered." There, I said it. Sometimes I honestly cannot remember when I last bathed. Gross, I know. But in my defense, sometimes I did manage a shower, I just can't recall it - I check to see if my towel is wet:) This mommy-brain is sometimes sharp as a tack, recalling facts and characters from novels I read eons ago in college. I can do the NY times crossword puzzle, in pen, up until Thurs (they publish them from easier to more difficult as the week goes on, so thurs. is when they get too hard to do in pen and I switch to pencil and usually don't finish it). I can read an article in the paper about the latest economic summit and truly get it. Then there are the days when I call my children by the wrong names, we eat PB&J for lunch and dinner because I haven't planned a thing, and the dogs get to eat hard-boiled eggs and goldfish because I again forgot to get them more dog food. What I really long for is a day somewhere in between those two. Mostly on track and planned, but with some wiggle room for a spontaneous lunch invitation, or to snuggle with Will and watch a movie at nap time. As with most of us, balance is elusive. God wants my heart to be at peace regardless of my circumstances and as our time with Ryan in the NICU showed us, we can be joyful in all circumstances, but peace seems even more challenging. Can I feel calm amidst the storms of parenting? Can I rest in His word, knowing that even when I play out the "worst-case-scenario game" He is who He says He is - now and forever? I'm trying! Those days when all feels balanced are glorious. But I think that what God is really teaching me is that even the off-kilter days are glory-filled too. I just have to look a little harder:)

1 comment:

Poppy said...

You can add "Daughter" to your list of roles, because you do it well. Love DaD