We continue to deal with Ryan's tantrums. Daily. Well, maybe not daily anymore. But often. He just becomes consumed with his way and he lacks the ability, in the moment, to garner enough self-control to communicate clearly what it is that he does want. Hmm. It is so true that God uses our children for our own refinement. How many times do I lose my self-control. Unable to stop myself from over communicating - emotionally manipulating my children, or distancing myself from them. I am seeing just how broken I am. I cannot, in my own strength, become whole. With age and maturity I see more clearly my great dependence on Christ. In His power, I can hold my tongue and keep my emotions in check, in order to clearly and calmly communicate with my children. For them to become healthy adults who can thrive in their adult relationships, they must too realize their own incapacity to be whole without Christ.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed by this task. Pointing our children continually to the Lord. Whew. It is tiring. But it shouldn't be overwhelming. Tiring, yes. Exhausting, yes. But never to the point of undoing us completely. Because then we are surely not operating from a place of residing in trusting our Lord. Then we are trying to do all of the work, instead of trusting in His grace to redeem what we cannot accomplish, and to rescue from sin those who chose Him. We cannot force salvation on our children. So for now I work on how to show them the holy work of our days. The seemingly mundane tasks we repeat each and every day - that these are sacred too.
